November 13, 2014

Give THANKS - November 13th (My Blessings)

Day 11 - My 7 Blessings

Throughout the years that I have blogged I have mentioned my feelings on the numerous comments we get when we are out in public. Being asked questions started when we only had twins; 'are they twins', 'are they identical', 'were they natural'. Once we added a third we continued to get comments; 'you must be done', 'do you know how this happens' and as nicely as we could we answered and moved along. Once we had the quads a whole new world of comments started. Most of the time people are kind and ask 'are they two sets of twins' or they tell me I 'have my hands full' and they allow us to continue on our way. We had months in which 98% of the comments were nice and the only annoying thing was that everyone had the same questions for us which makes getting anywhere very difficult. But in the last couple of weeks we have had an increase in the amount of rude and hurtful comments we have gotten. 

On Tuesday alone within two hours I got the following two comments: 
  • "I have a doctor for you because apparently you have something wrong with you"
  • "Look at that herd" which then the lady continued to ask if I needed help and I told her no thanks. She proceeded to say 'yeah cuz you look like you have it under control' in a way that I know she was not being nice as I allowed my 7 kids to walk down the steps themselves at their own pace which tends to have kids scattered throughout the staircase. They were all being good, maybe loud but good. She then told my kids to listen to their 'mom because she has her hands full' as she drove off with her one child. (My children are not a herd, a herd is: 'a large group of animals, especially hoofed mammals, that live, feed, or migrate together or are kept together as livestock')
These comments sting and I try so hard to be nice because my kids are all listening to what I have to say. So instead of being rude back, like I so badly want to do, we kill them with kindness. I  have the kids say bye-bye and they do just that and wave at them too. 


Every single one of my children is a gift that I have been blessed with. There is not a day that goes by that I am not thankful I am the receipent of their smiles and laughs and even their tears because I am the one who gets to comfort them. Are some days hard? Yes. But even people who do not have kids have hard days. Are my hands full? Yes but not in the way most think, they are filled with chubby little fingers who want to hold my hand and often I have two different sets of hands in each of mine. Do I have something wrong with me that I need to see a doctor? Absolutely not! Because I get more hugs and kisses each day than most get in a week. And if we decide to add another to our family in the future I will still not need a doctor because this is the life we have chosen and been called for and for that I am extremely thankful. 



3 comments:

  1. Okay. . . I n-e-v-e-r comment. BUT. . . I just can't pass this one up! My best friend, from college, has seven children. Number one is a singleton, two through five are quadruplets, and the youngest two are singletons too (All are girls except for the youngest who is three). My friend has complained about the comments - often - through the years and I really didn't get it until we all went to an amusement park one day.

    At several points, the quads, their dad, and my daughter and I hung out together since they - at that point - were the "babies" (probably around two - my daughter's birthday was just a few months earlier than their girls) and the big kids were off doing their thing. And, everyone naturally assumed that us two grown-ups were the parents - which, quite honestly, was just an easier assumption just to live with. Silly me! Since I would NEVER dream to ask another mom about her fertility - I was SHOCKED when several (!!) people made comments to me about "mine" (IVF? In-vitro?? Etc.). REALLY?? The girls were all well behaved, sitting in their strollers, enjoying the beautiful day and THAT (??) prompted comments about "my" raising a herd and how "I" must be such a saint. REALLY??

    It was especially hard because I truly don't think that people meant to be rude but, quite honestly, their comments were very much so. When I started to feel particularly snarky about the issue, I actually told one lady that my own daughter was adopted and that we wanted to share our many blessings with others. I DO KNOW that I shouldn't have done this and I don't feel good about it. BUT, when she flung her hand towards my own and asked "Well what about THAT one?", I just - temporarily - lost control. In the end, I found that a simple "God's plan is always a good one" or "God doesn't make mistakes" (which are both very true) brought people around quickest but. . . yikes!

    Bottom line, I feel for you. But, I do feel confident that you will find a better way (than me!) to show grace to others in a way that will enlighten them (while also protecting your children from some of the hurtful things that others say). Blessings!

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  2. I would probably be guilty of asking you question too... It's got to be amazing to see 4 of the same yet so different kiddos;) however since we are a multicultural adoptive family I do try to not ask nosey questions of others, I KNOW how comments affect our kiddos ESP the unkind ones. The other day we were asked if we run a children's home (we said we own one) lol. I try to respond to the "your hands are full" remark with I'm sooo blessed!!
    Blessings,
    Grace

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow, that really just breaks my heart that people would be so mean right to your face. I love reading about your family, I think every one of your children is beautiful and I think you are wonderful parents! I'm sad that the children in those people's homes will grow up to be so judgmental of others. Thank you for raising your beautiful blessings with faith, love, and respect in their hearts.

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