June 20, 2014

Time to do Something for Me

I have gone back and forth of whether or not to blog about this final stage of my pregnancies for the last month but have come to the conclusion that since I am pretty much an open book in regards to Paul's cancer, infertility, high risk pregnancies and everything else in my life I may as well share this journey too. Today I am having surgery. No nothing is wrong, except for what 2 multiple pregnancies and a pregnancy with a 9lb 6oz baby does to ones body. After today my kids will no longer get to play with my tummy and ask me if I have another baby in there because I am having a 'mommy makeover'.

A mommy makeover has been in the plan since after I had the twins. While I was pregnant with them my abdominal muscles separated, which is very common in multiple pregnancies or even pregnancies with big babies. I remember my ob telling me at my annual appointment when the twins were one that I could do sit ups all day but would never have a flat tummy again because of the abdominal separation. I was happy to know not to waste hour after hour on sit ups that would not benefit me and could even cause more damage to my core but it also made me sad to know that I would always have a tummy that fell forward with nothing to hold it in. The idea that someday I would need a tummy tuck started forming in my head with the main reason to repair those muscles. Fast forward a couple years and I find myself pregnant with quads. The idea of carrying 4 babies seemed impossible. Imagining what my body would look like after I gave birth was down right scary. I understand battle wounds from carrying your children and how women should be proud of them but it comes to a point when one needs to be happy with their body and sometimes it requires a plastic surgeon.

When the babies were 9 months old it was time for this mom to actually make an effort to get her body back. When my scrub pants were getting tight I knew I needed to do something and going to the store to buy the next size was not the answer. I also did not have time to go to the gym and I felt I was already running a marathon between making bottles, wrestling kids for diaper changes, giving daily baths and everything else we had to do to take care of 7 kids under the age of 5. So May 15, 2013 I started dieting to get rid of the baby weight for the last time ever. By doing this I got down to my pre-pregnancy weight and for the most part have been happy with the my weight but very much dislike the way my tummy has ended up.

I understand that I look pretty good for having 7 kids. I get that and I know I should be happy but the problem is I am not. It drives me crazy that I always have that little tummy that makes people wonder if I could possibly be pregnant with #8. I also have absolutely no core muscles. When I suck in my stomach I feel I am doing it but if you look at my stomach there is zero movement. Both of these things are due to the muscle separation. I can handle the stretch marks because I had 3 not so small pregnancies but the lose skin I am tired of. I am fine when I am standing but the minute I sit I am always pulling my pants up to hide the extra skin that I have. My mom says I can live without having a tummy tuck and my response is that I could but I don't have to. I am only 33 years old and hopefully have many decades yet to live. I do not want to have to look in the mirror everyday and be reminded that my body carried 7 children.

I am doing this mommy makeover for me but at the same time I am also doing it for my children and my husband. Getting up each day and not being happy with the way I look really takes a toll on my attitude about life. I get frustrated that I am always worried about my roll of skin when I sit on the floor to play with my kids. When we are playing on the floor I am unable to allow my kids to climb on my stomach because it physically hurts due to not having muscles to protect my stomach. In regards to my husband I no longer feel sexy in the bedroom and this is hard on a marriage. By having this tummy tuck I will feel better about myself which will allow me to be a step closer to being the best mom and wife that I can be.

I will happily share pictures of my recovery in an upcoming post but do not expect any updates for a couple of days. I do not trust myself with a blog log in/password and pain pills. You never know what I may decide to write about! It has taken a couple of weeks to not feel like I am being selfish in wanting something for me but now that the date of my surgery has arrived I am very excited and know that I need to do this for me.

The ever pregnant tummy. Pre-quad jeans but most do not fit because they are just too uncomfortable around the waist. (Love that you can see a leg of a little boy sound asleep in the background!)
The week I started my diet in May 2013 and then 5 months later. Happy with the end results but in the last picture to the right you can see how my stomach falls forward because of the separation. 
Stretched skin that will never go back without help.

4 comments:

  1. You are amazing !!!!! Wishing you a quick recovery :)

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  2. Thanks for HONEST REALITY. Best wishes for a speedy recovery ... and hopes for a honest report on what the experience is.

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  3. With all the things you’ve been through, a mommy makeover is a great treat for yourself! Not only it will help you get your old figure back, but it can also boost your confidence. How was it? I hope the surgery went smoothly, and that you've completely recovered by now. Cheers!

    Cordell Legaspi @ Baltimore Plastic and Cosmetic Surgery Center

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  4. I just read the comments here. So how's your recovery? Hope you're doing okay now. And thanks for sharing. Tummy tuck information and tips will always be welcomed because they serve as a guide especially for people who are planning to have their tummy tuck but are at loss for information regarding it. Your blog is really very nice and very readable. I just love it!

    ReplyDelete

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