March 05, 2013

It has been one year...

since we saw four beating heartbeats on the ultrasound. That moment was the biggest shock I have ever had and I am sure nothing will ever top it. The post, And then there were FOUR, that I did one year ago was one filled with so much fear. Fear for the babies I was carrying, fear for my own life, and fear of how we would ever be able provide for seven children. I wish I would have been able to rub my hands on a crystal ball at the same time that I was looking at four tiny gummy bears via ultrasound. If I could have seen the future I would never have had a moment of fear. I would have seen that God was going to take care of everything. We would be blessed with two perfect little boys and two beautiful girls. I would have known that my pregnancy would not be a comfortable one but I would make it through and would have given anything for it to have lasted longer. That crystal ball would have also shown me that Paul would be offered a job with a great company that provides for our family and at the same time allows him flexibility to be a dad to his kids. But instead of seeing that crystal ball we have lived through each moment of fear and in the end have been so amazingly blessed. March 5th will always be a day that I look back and remember how much our life changed and I will always be thankful that it has turned out just the way it was intended to be.

Sleep tight my beautiful children. I could never have imagined a year later I would be kissing each one of you goodnight. I love you more than you will ever know.


  1. Love it! Part of this journey was certainly being called to have faith in the unknown. The price was worth the reward!!

  2. Adorable and oh so special.

  3. Beautiful!!! You are blessed!!!

  4. I know the feeling :) Each of us has grown in faith immensly this year and there are so many beautiful, healthy babies because we kept the faith alive.

  5. If I end up going to IFV be determined soon...I feel the same way as you. One time you said something along the lines of not wanting to leave any of your children out, which is why all remaining 4 were put in even though they might not have looked promising after they made the thaw. I'm wondering if it is possible to just go one round and only take out from me what I plan to use so that none are left behind. Does this make sense?

    1. This is a hard one to answer and would probably be better asked to your fertility specialist. It all depends on why you are having fertility problems which I am so sorry you are going through. It is so hard. When going through ivf one never knows how they will respond to the meds, how many eggs will be retrieved, how many will fertilize and continue to grow. I went through 2 cycles before we got our twins and used a total of 5 embryos. Then we put three more in and got our girls. If we would have only retrieved 3 eggs we probably would never have gotten pregnant. I produced a lot of eggs with my first cycle and about 2/3 of them fertilized. So my best advice would be to talk to your doctor about how to give you the best chance of becoming parents without having a lot of embryos left over. I know I was not the most helpful. Good luck and I hope you will be blessed with a child soon.

  6. Oh so sorry you got the stuffy nose stuff! Hope everyone is on the mend now. It is cruel how bf mamas have no cold meds. When you are finally done pumping antihistamines dry up milk perfectly!

    I love all the updates about the for. Tate the tank is in good company with Harper the haas. He was a whopping 18 lbs last week while Sydney was only 13.5. She is finally too big for size 1 diapers, but will end up wearing 3 soon because it is a pain having diapers only for her. Mason started refusing his last bottle like Rylan a few weeks ago. We ended up spoon feeding himat 5 without a bottle and he takes one before bed. We wanted him going to bed with a full tummy. Maybe you could try that with Rylan?


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