January 27, 2013

A year ago today...

four embryos that had been frozen for over five years where placed in mommy's tummy. I remember that morning sitting reading magazines, that were a couple months old, in the waiting room of the fertility clinic. Over the years we have spent many hours waiting in that room. For some reason that room always feels cold to me. I always have a pit in my stomach that I know is anxiety. I always wonder how many months or years everyone else in that room has been trying to conceive and in the end will they get what they are so desperately hoping for...a baby?  A year ago I had these same feelings even though I already had three miracles at home. The reason being is that I knew I had four babies thawing and I was anxious to hear if any of them had made the thaw. I recall the phone call we got the night before like it just happened yesterday. We had just pulled into the garage and we were unloading the kids. The nurse called asking how many embryos we wanted to thaw and I said "just the two". She reminded me that we actually had four and I went on to explain that the doctor had told us only two were viable. As she was looking at their grading she told me that they really were not that bad of embryos and occasionally they had seen success with them. I didn't even have to ask Paul because I knew what he would say; thaw them all. After I was off the phone Paul asked me what that was about and I told him. Paul agreed that we would never discard any of our embryos and since two were supposedly none viable we may as well thaw them all. There is only a 40-60% chance of successful thaws on embryos but I knew all four would survive. I had never had an embryo not survive the thawing process.

The next morning we went and waited for our names to be called. My favorite medical assistant was working and it was so fun to see her again. We met with the doctor who told us all four embryos did survive and wanted to know how many we wanted to put back. We discussed our risk of multiples. Paul and I were really hoping for twins again but one would be fine also. We even told him that I did not want to get pregnant with all four like my co-worker had the previous year! He told us he was comfortable with transferring four. Our risk of triplets was 1% and quads was less then 0.5%. Paul and I didn't discuss it long because we did not feel it was our choice to throw our children down the drain to discard the one that we would not have transferred. We were lead back to the room were you have to put on booties and hair covers. They then take you to an even colder room than the waiting room. This room is sterile and cold but they try to brighten it by putting a cheesy cover over the fluorescent light and putting two chocolates on the hospital grade bedding. My bladders is now full because they need it to be this way to get the embryos in the right place. The nurse scans by bladder and it is not full enough for them even though it sure seems plenty full to me. I drink even more water and wait. The embryologist came in to show us a picture of our "babies". I remember her telling us that all four were blooming beautifully! As we waited for my bladder to fill I kept looking at the picture and guessing which two were the good ones. In my mind I was already preparing for twins. Finally it was time, the doctor and embryologist came in with all four of our "babies" in the smallest straw like catheter. Paul and I watched on ultrasound as our embryos were placed in my uterus. It was done in less than 30 seconds. We now had to wait in the cold room for 15 minutes for the embryos to make themselves comfortable. I really think the clinic does this to give you peace of mind that they are not going to just fall out. When the kitchen timer goes off I am off the ob table in no time to head straight to the bathroom with only a blanket wrapped around my lower half because that is how bad I had to pee. We then go home for my three days of laying low. I look at my "babies" first picture over and over praying that one or two stick. Four days later is when I know I am pregnant because I am already sick.

I could never have imagined a year ago that we would make the less than 0.5% statistic of having quadruplets. But I am so glad that all four embryos thawed and then stuck. Paul and I are so lucky. I look at them now and cannot imagine making the choice to discard one of them. Infertility is a tough road and we defiantly rode the roller coaster for many years. I pray that those who suffer from infertility will find the path that will lead them to their dream of having a family. Because when we sat in the waiting room seven years ago discussing our options I never could have dreamed that we would suffer from three miscarriages but be blessed with seven absolutely amazing miracles.
Our 4 "blooming" embryos
Our embryos at 5 months of age



2 comments:

  1. Amazing!!! How wonderful and blessedly AMAZING!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your strory always amazes me! These are four miracles and I hope they inspire couples on the crappy infertility road.

    ReplyDelete

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