 |
| His silly tooth |
 |
| Not nervous one bit |
 |
| All numb...he looked so sad. |
 |
| All done and still with a smile on his face |
 |
| Our toothless kiddos |
 |
| The tooth fairy came! |
Saturday, May 11, 2013
My tough little boy
When Drew started teething we noticed that one of his teeth was coming in twisted 90 degrees from his other teeth. It lined up exactly where his cleft incision was. When we took him to the dentist for a check-up after the tooth had come through we found out it was actually an extra tooth. There was no concern at that time but we knew eventually it would have to come out. We called it his silly tooth. At his last appointment the dentist and I discussed his silly tooth and when the appropriate time to have it taken out would be. I wanted to get it out before kids started teasing him at school and also before he would get scared of having it pulled. The dentist said at this time it would be better to get it out sooner rather than later because the roots would soon start getting squished by his adult teeth and would make extraction more difficult.
Friday was the day that we said goodbye to his silly tooth. We talked it up at home like he was going to Disneyland and he was so excited. Our kids LOVE the dentist by the way and often are asking when they get to go again. Dental groups geared towards kids are awesome! When Drew woke up this morning he was asking right away when he and mom were leaving. I had to tell him that Dr. Justin wasn't going to be there til after lunch when he started crying because I told him we wouldn't be going til the afternoon. We took lots of pictures to be able to remember his tooth and then it was time. My boy did not need to sit on his mommy's lap. He didn't freak out when his whole lip was numb. He didn't shed one tear the entire time. He got major kuddos from everyone there and I even saw that they had wrote in his chart 'did excellent for only being 2 years old'. I was so proud of him.
He got to go pick out some prizes and a balloon and he made sure he picked out a pink and purple one for his sisters. And since my kids have a love for Motrin he was quick to remind me when we got home that he needed medicine. It is different to not see his silly tooth anymore but I still find him absolutely adorable.
I wanted to also thank everyone for voting every single day for this little blog. I am sure you all were as tired of voting as Paul and I were. We took fifth which I think is unbelievable. I have to complete some questions for the Circle of Moms and I will let you know when that is done. And speaking of questions I know I have some new readers following the contest so I think its time to have another Q&A post. So post your questions and when I get a handful of them I will be happy to answer them. I also have a bunch of hodge podge pictures that will accompany them. So the more the questions the more the pictures that I will be able to post!!
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
We are 9 Months!
For the last couple of months I have started your month post off by saying the last month was the best but this month I am having a hard time saying it only because I swear I was just typing your 8 month post 2 days ago. How in the world did another month past just like that? I need to find that pause button in life because I am just not ready to let this time be done already. There will come a time in your life, probably junior high, when you will feel like every. single. day. just drags on and life moves at a snails pace. Let me tell you that period in your life is short lived. Life started speeding up when I got to college but once I became a mom everything started going at light speed and I would give anything to have this time in my life slow down so I could continue enjoying you as my babies.
Some days I am shocked that you are already nine months old and then there are those times I can not believe it has only been nine months since I saw you for the first time. There are days I am so amazed at what you are doing and then I think about what your siblings were doing at this age and I wonder if you will ever catch up. Having preemies is so different than having full term kids and its sometimes hard to not compare. You are each amazing and it is so much fun watching you discover the world around you. At least with you being born 9 weeks early we really do get to have you as babies just a little bit longer than if you would have been born near your due date.
Rylan:
This last month you had me awake more at night than I find acceptable! You discovered how to roll easily from your back to your tummy but you were too lazy at night to go back when you realized you did not want to sleep that way. If it wasn't for the fact that you would bury your face into your mattress I probably would have made you figure it out after two weeks of getting up with you every hour to flip you. Thankfully you now like sleeping on your tummy and you are also very good at turning from your tummy to your back. So good that we can hardly keep you on your tummy to play. You are usually rolling before we even have set you done on your stomach. You by far are the best and cleanest eater when it comes to solids. There is nothing you do not like. During naptime you pretty much spend the entire time rolling around your crib sticking your feet through the slates and turning on your music aquarium. You also love looking out the window that is near your crib. You are usually the first to wake in the morning but are very happy spending that time having 'you' time.
Isabella:
You are our little birdie when it comes to eating. You sit the entire meal with your mouth open just waiting for the next bite. You have started taking your bib and sucking on it after each bite which sure does make a mess! You were the first one to start vocalizing with constants. Dada is one of your favorite sounds to make. You are very unsure of new places and people. It takes you a while to warm up but once you do you are all smiles, except for the camera. I think in all the pictures we have of you you have this bewildered look on your face. I think part of it is because your eyes are so big and round and you don't care to smile once you see the camera come out. When you cry you have perfected the rolling 'r' sound. Mom and dad have no idea how you do it but boy can you get loud with it. You remain our best sleeper and often let us know when it is nap time before anyone else.You hit the crib, roll on your side and are out even before we can get the other three to bed.
Kenzie:
You have an absolute love for faces. No matter who is holding you you will reach up and gently feel their face. I wonder if you will be an an esthetician when you get older. This would benefit mom greatly so I have no problem if this is what you choose to do! You are our mover. You have figured out how to roll to get where you want to go and sometimes to places that you really didn't mean to. Today I walked out the front door and when I came back you had rolled to a spot that you could watch for me to come back in. You are able to sit for about 5 minutes independently but you lean so far over when you do. You literally have your chest on your legs. You are our pickiest eater. You don't like things that are too sweet but you also are not a fan of plain vegetables and if something has any texture to it we know it is a no go with you. You do like puffs and mum-mums though so I think you will be like Drew who moved to table foods very quickly and will skip the chunkier purees.
Tate:
You have finally decided that there is more to life than just lying flat on your back!! You are very good at rolling but only when you want to. You do tend to get frustrated if you rolled accidentally and didn't really mean to go to your tummy. At these moments you totally forget that you do know how to roll to your back. You too can sit unassisted but sometimes you get a little top heavy and come crashing down. You have been boycotting naps this last month which has lead to some long days for both you and I. You don't want to nap but you don't want to play either. You only want to be held which I love having the chance to hold only one of you and get some snuggles on but 2 hours is a long time for you to expect me to be able to do this. You love watching your big brother Drew and he often has you giggling. I had been squishing you into some 6 month jammies lately and finally had a moment to go buy you some new ones the other day. I decided to just get 12 month and skip the 9 month altogether. The 12 month seemed huge but I decided to bring them home and try them on you. Daddy agreed that they were way to long and that I needed to go and get a couple pair of 9 month. I decided to wash up one pair and try them on and you shocked us both by fitting into them and you actually won't be wearing them long! You are going to be one tall boy but that doesn't come as much of a surprise.
There is only 3 months until you guys hit the one year mark. I can't believe we have almost survived a year with quadruplets. Mom and dad have loved so much of it and we never thought we would survive as well as we are. The nicu stay was long and trying, the sleepless nights where just that- sleepless, lots of spit-ups and washing of clothes but the joy of seeing you sleeping each night in your room and knowing that we are your parents is truly a gift. The coolest thing is now starting to happen: you are finding each other. There is nothing better than watching you hold hands while eating, sucking on each others fingers, or smiling at one another. You do have the tendency to find great joy in pulling each others hair which does not send out the 'I love my sibling' vibes. I can't wait to watch your relationships develop. I just wonder will you pair off or will you always be a team of four.
 |
| "Izzie mom only has 15 minutes to get our 9 month photo shoot done. She thinks she is going to sit us on the grass for the first time ever and get cute pictures. Can you put on your best act to let her know how foolish she is to try and accomplish this with only the assistance of Natalie, Aubrey & Drew. Okay...go!!!" |
Rylan:
This last month you had me awake more at night than I find acceptable! You discovered how to roll easily from your back to your tummy but you were too lazy at night to go back when you realized you did not want to sleep that way. If it wasn't for the fact that you would bury your face into your mattress I probably would have made you figure it out after two weeks of getting up with you every hour to flip you. Thankfully you now like sleeping on your tummy and you are also very good at turning from your tummy to your back. So good that we can hardly keep you on your tummy to play. You are usually rolling before we even have set you done on your stomach. You by far are the best and cleanest eater when it comes to solids. There is nothing you do not like. During naptime you pretty much spend the entire time rolling around your crib sticking your feet through the slates and turning on your music aquarium. You also love looking out the window that is near your crib. You are usually the first to wake in the morning but are very happy spending that time having 'you' time.
 |
| "Mom, I don't have time to look at you so stop trying to get my attention. This green stuff is really cool by the way." |
Isabella:
You are our little birdie when it comes to eating. You sit the entire meal with your mouth open just waiting for the next bite. You have started taking your bib and sucking on it after each bite which sure does make a mess! You were the first one to start vocalizing with constants. Dada is one of your favorite sounds to make. You are very unsure of new places and people. It takes you a while to warm up but once you do you are all smiles, except for the camera. I think in all the pictures we have of you you have this bewildered look on your face. I think part of it is because your eyes are so big and round and you don't care to smile once you see the camera come out. When you cry you have perfected the rolling 'r' sound. Mom and dad have no idea how you do it but boy can you get loud with it. You remain our best sleeper and often let us know when it is nap time before anyone else.You hit the crib, roll on your side and are out even before we can get the other three to bed.
 |
| Isabella true to her drama queen title did not find it acceptable to be touching green pokey stuff and she made sure to let all the neighbors know. |
Kenzie:
You have an absolute love for faces. No matter who is holding you you will reach up and gently feel their face. I wonder if you will be an an esthetician when you get older. This would benefit mom greatly so I have no problem if this is what you choose to do! You are our mover. You have figured out how to roll to get where you want to go and sometimes to places that you really didn't mean to. Today I walked out the front door and when I came back you had rolled to a spot that you could watch for me to come back in. You are able to sit for about 5 minutes independently but you lean so far over when you do. You literally have your chest on your legs. You are our pickiest eater. You don't like things that are too sweet but you also are not a fan of plain vegetables and if something has any texture to it we know it is a no go with you. You do like puffs and mum-mums though so I think you will be like Drew who moved to table foods very quickly and will skip the chunkier purees.
Tate:
You have finally decided that there is more to life than just lying flat on your back!! You are very good at rolling but only when you want to. You do tend to get frustrated if you rolled accidentally and didn't really mean to go to your tummy. At these moments you totally forget that you do know how to roll to your back. You too can sit unassisted but sometimes you get a little top heavy and come crashing down. You have been boycotting naps this last month which has lead to some long days for both you and I. You don't want to nap but you don't want to play either. You only want to be held which I love having the chance to hold only one of you and get some snuggles on but 2 hours is a long time for you to expect me to be able to do this. You love watching your big brother Drew and he often has you giggling. I had been squishing you into some 6 month jammies lately and finally had a moment to go buy you some new ones the other day. I decided to just get 12 month and skip the 9 month altogether. The 12 month seemed huge but I decided to bring them home and try them on you. Daddy agreed that they were way to long and that I needed to go and get a couple pair of 9 month. I decided to wash up one pair and try them on and you shocked us both by fitting into them and you actually won't be wearing them long! You are going to be one tall boy but that doesn't come as much of a surprise.
There is only 3 months until you guys hit the one year mark. I can't believe we have almost survived a year with quadruplets. Mom and dad have loved so much of it and we never thought we would survive as well as we are. The nicu stay was long and trying, the sleepless nights where just that- sleepless, lots of spit-ups and washing of clothes but the joy of seeing you sleeping each night in your room and knowing that we are your parents is truly a gift. The coolest thing is now starting to happen: you are finding each other. There is nothing better than watching you hold hands while eating, sucking on each others fingers, or smiling at one another. You do have the tendency to find great joy in pulling each others hair which does not send out the 'I love my sibling' vibes. I can't wait to watch your relationships develop. I just wonder will you pair off or will you always be a team of four.
I love you my quad squad and Happy 9 Months!!
Monday, May 6, 2013
The Walk for Babies
A week ago Saturday we got up bright and early. Okay mom got up bright and early and everyone else got up when they normally do. Why is it that kids do not take advantage of being able to sleep in and have to wake up when the sun comes up? We did get everyone ready and out of the house by 7:50 which is a big deal around here. My goal was 7:30 so we would have time to stop for coffee but so with the delay coffee was had after the walk! We were very excited to participate in the Walk for Babies that was held by the March of Dimes again this year. We were not able to do it last year because I was already pregnant with the four little munchkins. It is always amazing to see the turnout for this event. I believe I had heard that there were 7,000 walkers this year in Sacramento and I don't think this takes into account all the little ride-alongs who are relaxing in their strollers.
This year we did the shorter walk (3 miles) and by the time we finished it was time to get out of dodge. The babies who had missed their morning nap were letting us know that they wanted out of their stroller. Isabella can be quite the drama queen when she wants to be. Next year we hope to go back to the capitol and join in the festivities that are held afterwards.
We want to thank those that generously sponsered us in our walk:
This year we did the shorter walk (3 miles) and by the time we finished it was time to get out of dodge. The babies who had missed their morning nap were letting us know that they wanted out of their stroller. Isabella can be quite the drama queen when she wants to be. Next year we hope to go back to the capitol and join in the festivities that are held afterwards.
We want to thank those that generously sponsered us in our walk:
- Tom & Jenny Campbell
- Scott & Mari Bradford
- Grammie Helaine
- Grandpa & Grandma Maier
- Emily Lambert
 |
| Izzie was so tired. This was moments before she let us know just how tired. |
 |
| We were in the front of the walk. It is amazing how many people come out for such a great organization. |
 |
| So glad we got a picture of this balloon because it soon went up in the sky and Drew cried a river for his forever lost balloon. Helium in balloons and little kids never ends well. |
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Held Hostage
I have been held hostage for the last 8 months and 22 days by this machine:
While I was pregnant with the quads I had this grand idea that I would alternate nursing the babies and giving them bottles. I had tandem fed the twins for 14 months and so I knew I could do that part of it. What I never took into account was the fact that I would be nursing preemies AND have three older kids plus 2 other babies while I sat and tandem fed two!
I will start at the beginning to give everyone a better understanding of why I have been held hostage for so long. When I had the twins I was not a nicu nurse but 100% felt that breast milk was the best thing for my babies. I did not want the twins to have any formula and I even found a pediatrician who would support me in my desire to breast feed. A week after the twins were born I ended up back in the hospital in the ICU because I started hemorrhaging. Even while receiving a blood transfusion I would not give the babies formula. Hind sight is always 20/20 and now looking back I know I was not very smart at this point because I was loosing so much blood that there was no way my babies were getting much milk but luckily they and I survived! That night when I was too weak to even lift my own legs I finally surcummed and allowed Paul to give the babies each a bottle of formula but I made the nursing staff get me a breast pump because if I was too weak again to nurse they were going to get pumped milk. Yes I was a bit crazy and some of the nicu nurses I work with now love to give me a hard time! When the twins were 3 weeks of age I had to give them one bottle of formula in the evening for three weeks because my milk production could not keep up. I cried every night when the babies had this formula. After they were 6 weeks of age they never received another drop of formula and they nursed until they were 14 months old.
Then when we got pregnant with our singleton I was so thrilled to experience nursing one baby but that excitement was short lived when we found out about his cleft. Some babies with clefts can not nurse and have to use specialized bottles. From 20 weeks until he was born I was so concerned that he would not be able to nurse. I knew that I would pump for him if needed which would allow him to still benefit from the antibodies and all the other good stuff found in breast milk but I was so sad that I would not get the bonding experience that comes when a baby nurses. I was overjoyed when he was less than 10 minutes old and he was already nursing like he had done it a million times. We ended up having to battle with him to take a bottle when I returned to work but that is a whole other topic! I nursed Drew til he was also 14 months old and Paul nicely told me that "he is too big to still be nursing." I did think it was funny that he never had a problem with me nursing the girls as long as I did but with his boy he was ready for me to be done.
With the quad pregnancy I quickly had to get over my dislike for formula because I knew I would never make enough milk for four babies. With my original plan I also wasn't planning on pumping except for when I was at work because I was just going to nurse two babies on a rotating schedule which would mean I didn't have to pump. I had a dislike with pumping almost as much as my dislike for formula. I started pumping about four hours after the babies were born and stayed on a very strict 3 hour schedule until they babies started coming home. And let me tell you that I would spend 4 hours a day just pumping. At night I would fall asleep while I was pumping and wake up an hour after I had finished. Thank goodness for a hands free pumping bra! Once the babies came home I continued to pump every three hours during the day and then would pump when the babies woke at night to eat. I would start pumping while Paul started on diapers and then I would feed two babies all while I continued to pump. I got very good at multitasking. My plans to tandem feed the quads never got executed. I quickly realized that with preemies they had no clue how to nurse like my full term kids did. It took time and time and more time to get them to latch and then they didn't have the endurance to take a full feed at the breast so then I needed to supplement with a bottle. I just did not have this time. And how was I going to bottle feed two kids and nurse the other two when I was home alone. What if one of the kids that woke first was suppose to nurse and the other that was awake was to bottle feed. The logistics of it was just too much for me. So I knew that I was going to be pumping for the long haul.
Slowly over time I have decreased my pumps from 8 to 5 pumps per day as the babies started sleeping through the night. The older kids have gotten so use to their mom pumping that when they tell people that they learned to pump they also include 'not their boobs, on the swing'. Me having to pump is part of their day and sometimes they have really hated it because sometimes we have had to come home because of it. Pumping has taken up a ton of my time. It is exhausting. And finding 30 minutes to pump 5-8 times a day has not always been easy.
But no mater how hard it was I would not have traded being able to provide breast milk to my babies. I remember when the babies were 3 months old I told myself that I just needed to get to 6 months and then I could call it quits. I thought 6 months would never get here. When I got there I decided to continue to rent the hospital grade pump because have you priced out a can of formula? One can of the formula we were using is $17. When the babies were 6 months old we were going through just shy of 3/4 of a can per day. I was providing about a third of the babies milk with what I was able to pump. If I quit pumping it was going to cost us at least $25 per day just to feed them. So I rented the pump and told myself I just needed to keep going. Each month I have made a new goal but now the time has come that I need to be done. I want that time back with my big kids during the day. The babies are napping less so trying to fit in a pump session while they are asleep some days is nearly impossible. Over the last month my supply has slowly been decreasing even though I am pumping the same amount of time. I have made the decision to go til the babies are 9 months which is coming up on the 9th of May. I have to be okay with them getting all formula for 3 months. It makes me sad that I am not going to be able to provide the kids with breast milk til they are a year but as my supply and time have decreased I have found that pumping has been causing me a lot of stress. I do not enjoy pumping so the pumping I will not miss!
I am saddened that I never got to breast feed the quads. Nursing the twins was work. I realized this after I got to nurse just one baby. Nursing Drew was a wonderful experience. I will occasionally put the quads to breast. Tate loves it and snuggles right in. He would have made an awesome nurser if I would have been able to figure out how to make it work and still get the other three kids fed. Isabella and Rylan scream bloody murder every time I try. It makes me sad that still at 8 months they have no clue how to nurse. I am sure if I worked on it every day they would get it but I don't have time for it. And Kenzie I haven't even tried for the longest time because she never requires more than her bottles so the opportunity never really presents itself.
The last week I have gone down to 4 pumps per day; watched my supply decrease and I am working through the fact that I am almost done. I know that once I am done it will take away a lot of stress but weaning is so hard. My pump has to be returned May 14th but I do have a Medela pump at home that I can use if I decide I am just not done yet! My days of being held hostage to the Medela Symphony are almost done and I can tell you 'Symphony' is the wrong name for this thing!!
I will start at the beginning to give everyone a better understanding of why I have been held hostage for so long. When I had the twins I was not a nicu nurse but 100% felt that breast milk was the best thing for my babies. I did not want the twins to have any formula and I even found a pediatrician who would support me in my desire to breast feed. A week after the twins were born I ended up back in the hospital in the ICU because I started hemorrhaging. Even while receiving a blood transfusion I would not give the babies formula. Hind sight is always 20/20 and now looking back I know I was not very smart at this point because I was loosing so much blood that there was no way my babies were getting much milk but luckily they and I survived! That night when I was too weak to even lift my own legs I finally surcummed and allowed Paul to give the babies each a bottle of formula but I made the nursing staff get me a breast pump because if I was too weak again to nurse they were going to get pumped milk. Yes I was a bit crazy and some of the nicu nurses I work with now love to give me a hard time! When the twins were 3 weeks of age I had to give them one bottle of formula in the evening for three weeks because my milk production could not keep up. I cried every night when the babies had this formula. After they were 6 weeks of age they never received another drop of formula and they nursed until they were 14 months old.
Then when we got pregnant with our singleton I was so thrilled to experience nursing one baby but that excitement was short lived when we found out about his cleft. Some babies with clefts can not nurse and have to use specialized bottles. From 20 weeks until he was born I was so concerned that he would not be able to nurse. I knew that I would pump for him if needed which would allow him to still benefit from the antibodies and all the other good stuff found in breast milk but I was so sad that I would not get the bonding experience that comes when a baby nurses. I was overjoyed when he was less than 10 minutes old and he was already nursing like he had done it a million times. We ended up having to battle with him to take a bottle when I returned to work but that is a whole other topic! I nursed Drew til he was also 14 months old and Paul nicely told me that "he is too big to still be nursing." I did think it was funny that he never had a problem with me nursing the girls as long as I did but with his boy he was ready for me to be done.
With the quad pregnancy I quickly had to get over my dislike for formula because I knew I would never make enough milk for four babies. With my original plan I also wasn't planning on pumping except for when I was at work because I was just going to nurse two babies on a rotating schedule which would mean I didn't have to pump. I had a dislike with pumping almost as much as my dislike for formula. I started pumping about four hours after the babies were born and stayed on a very strict 3 hour schedule until they babies started coming home. And let me tell you that I would spend 4 hours a day just pumping. At night I would fall asleep while I was pumping and wake up an hour after I had finished. Thank goodness for a hands free pumping bra! Once the babies came home I continued to pump every three hours during the day and then would pump when the babies woke at night to eat. I would start pumping while Paul started on diapers and then I would feed two babies all while I continued to pump. I got very good at multitasking. My plans to tandem feed the quads never got executed. I quickly realized that with preemies they had no clue how to nurse like my full term kids did. It took time and time and more time to get them to latch and then they didn't have the endurance to take a full feed at the breast so then I needed to supplement with a bottle. I just did not have this time. And how was I going to bottle feed two kids and nurse the other two when I was home alone. What if one of the kids that woke first was suppose to nurse and the other that was awake was to bottle feed. The logistics of it was just too much for me. So I knew that I was going to be pumping for the long haul.
Slowly over time I have decreased my pumps from 8 to 5 pumps per day as the babies started sleeping through the night. The older kids have gotten so use to their mom pumping that when they tell people that they learned to pump they also include 'not their boobs, on the swing'. Me having to pump is part of their day and sometimes they have really hated it because sometimes we have had to come home because of it. Pumping has taken up a ton of my time. It is exhausting. And finding 30 minutes to pump 5-8 times a day has not always been easy.
But no mater how hard it was I would not have traded being able to provide breast milk to my babies. I remember when the babies were 3 months old I told myself that I just needed to get to 6 months and then I could call it quits. I thought 6 months would never get here. When I got there I decided to continue to rent the hospital grade pump because have you priced out a can of formula? One can of the formula we were using is $17. When the babies were 6 months old we were going through just shy of 3/4 of a can per day. I was providing about a third of the babies milk with what I was able to pump. If I quit pumping it was going to cost us at least $25 per day just to feed them. So I rented the pump and told myself I just needed to keep going. Each month I have made a new goal but now the time has come that I need to be done. I want that time back with my big kids during the day. The babies are napping less so trying to fit in a pump session while they are asleep some days is nearly impossible. Over the last month my supply has slowly been decreasing even though I am pumping the same amount of time. I have made the decision to go til the babies are 9 months which is coming up on the 9th of May. I have to be okay with them getting all formula for 3 months. It makes me sad that I am not going to be able to provide the kids with breast milk til they are a year but as my supply and time have decreased I have found that pumping has been causing me a lot of stress. I do not enjoy pumping so the pumping I will not miss!
I am saddened that I never got to breast feed the quads. Nursing the twins was work. I realized this after I got to nurse just one baby. Nursing Drew was a wonderful experience. I will occasionally put the quads to breast. Tate loves it and snuggles right in. He would have made an awesome nurser if I would have been able to figure out how to make it work and still get the other three kids fed. Isabella and Rylan scream bloody murder every time I try. It makes me sad that still at 8 months they have no clue how to nurse. I am sure if I worked on it every day they would get it but I don't have time for it. And Kenzie I haven't even tried for the longest time because she never requires more than her bottles so the opportunity never really presents itself.
The last week I have gone down to 4 pumps per day; watched my supply decrease and I am working through the fact that I am almost done. I know that once I am done it will take away a lot of stress but weaning is so hard. My pump has to be returned May 14th but I do have a Medela pump at home that I can use if I decide I am just not done yet! My days of being held hostage to the Medela Symphony are almost done and I can tell you 'Symphony' is the wrong name for this thing!!
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Negativity
I recently have had an anonymous commenter that many of you have noticed. I am going to write this one post and then we ALL are going to move on including the person that has had some not so nice things to say. With blogger I do have the option of approving the comments before they appear on my blog. I have not felt the need to do this and still do not at this point. I also will not erase those comments that are not so nice. We are all entitled to our own opinions and in some instances I have taken great advice from what others have had to say. When people are negative I often giggle and wonder why they took the time to drag another person down. I often find it even funnier that these comments are often left anonymously. I truly believe these people are looking for attention and I find it so sad that they look for this attention by hurting others. I will not fuel these comments and so after this post I will not try to explain myself to these people. I thank all of you that stood up for our family when the comments recently appeared but from now on feel free to skip over the negativity and leave the comment you intended to before you read the thoughts of someone that would rather bring someone down than lift them up.
So those that do not like my family either because it is larger than the average 2.2 children per family or if its because we had to use fertility or because we gave all of our children the right to life please move on and find a blog that you do enjoy reading. Our blog is not a homework assignment so there is no need for you to read it. Just like I do not read blogs on ufo's. I just do not have an interest in them!
When I was pregnant with the quads I was really quick to erase any kind of negativity that I received. Pregnant with four I was very emotional and I did not do well with any kind of rude comment. I needed my days to be filled with love and support. Now these comments do NOT affect me because no matter what someone thinks I would never have changed a single decision that my husband and I made. It wasn't necessarily the path I thought I would go down in life but God knew the entire time what path he would lead our family down. Those comments can not hurt me when every morning we go into the nursery there are four babies with huge smiles on their face kicking their little legs as hard as they can because they are so excited to see their mom, dad, brother and sisters. We are a large family and every single member of it is loved unconditionally.
So those that do not like my family either because it is larger than the average 2.2 children per family or if its because we had to use fertility or because we gave all of our children the right to life please move on and find a blog that you do enjoy reading. Our blog is not a homework assignment so there is no need for you to read it. Just like I do not read blogs on ufo's. I just do not have an interest in them!
When I was pregnant with the quads I was really quick to erase any kind of negativity that I received. Pregnant with four I was very emotional and I did not do well with any kind of rude comment. I needed my days to be filled with love and support. Now these comments do NOT affect me because no matter what someone thinks I would never have changed a single decision that my husband and I made. It wasn't necessarily the path I thought I would go down in life but God knew the entire time what path he would lead our family down. Those comments can not hurt me when every morning we go into the nursery there are four babies with huge smiles on their face kicking their little legs as hard as they can because they are so excited to see their mom, dad, brother and sisters. We are a large family and every single member of it is loved unconditionally.
 |
| Supporting our alma mater! Go BISON!!!
Please don't forget to vote for 'The Littlest Lesnaus' if you enjoy reading about us. We are currently in 6th place but only 2 away from 5th! It has been a back and forth battle for days and we have til May 8th to stay near the top. It has been a closer race than any presidential election ever so come on over and vote!!
|
Friday, April 26, 2013
Walk for Babies
Tomorrow our family will be walking for an organization that means so much to us after we gave birth to four amazing miracles 9 weeks early. Because of the research the March of Dimes has done over the years our preemies had a wonderful start to life even though they couldn't even breath without support when they were born. It is not to late to donate to the Walk for Babies. Your donation will help other babies like Tate, Kenzie, Rylan and Isabella who are born to early. Thank you for all those who have already supported us in our walk.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
The Bump
I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago and it has been sitting in my draft folder and I wasn't sure if it was one that I would hit 'publish' with. After writing this post I realized I needed to write it for me. I needed to work through some of the guilt I have had with my pregnancy. Writing about it was the best therapy for me. I have decided to publish it because I think so many of us as mommies have guilt over some aspect of our life as moms; our pregnancy, our delivery, postpartum depression, going back to work, feeling we don't spend enough time with our children, and the list can go on and on. I hope we all can move past this guilt we feel because we are all awesome moms when it comes down to it!
Recently on my twins group we shared pictures of our last days pregnant with our twins. I thought it would be fun to pull pictures of the last day of all three of my pregnancies. And then I started really thinking about each one of my experiences of having a baby bump. I am not by any means a cute pregnant person. I don't carry small but that is hard when I had a twin pregnancy, a 9lb6oz pregnancy and a quadruplet pregnancy but I loved being pregnant. I love feeling life growing inside me. I love day dreaming about whether I am carrying a boy or girl. I love preparing to add another one (or 4) to our family.
I do feel I got jaded with my pregnancies though. I never had a pregnancy that wasn't full of worry. There was always something that was more than the average pregnancy worries. With the twins I never felt that I would carry both to term. We had already suffered two miscarriages and every single appointment I went to I was worried that I would not see two heart beats. Then with Drew the pregnancy started out well. We had not planned on becoming pregnant so soon after the twins and never thought we would get pregnant on our own so once the shock wore off we were good until his 20 week ultrasound where it was discovered he had a cleft lip. We declined further testing to see if there were any chromosomal issues and we would not be 100% sure if his palate was involved until the day he was born. The rest of his pregnancy was spent looking at pictures of baby's with clefts and it was hard and very discouraging because of course we only found the bad ones on google. Then we got pregnant with the quads and that was by far no where near a normal pregnancy. Some days I long for a pregnancy where I would take a hpt and see a + and nine months later deliver a beautiful baby without the worries of a multiple pregnancy or anomalies but even with the worries of all 3 pregnancies I was given 7 perfect in every way children.
Since the quads have been born I have dealt with a lot of guilt with how their pregnancy ended. The delivery was awesome and everything worked out great. Family got to come into the post op area which we had been told would not happen. All the babies got wonderful care. I got 1 of the 2 doctors that I really wanted to deliver me. But I still felt let down every. single. time. I thought about their birth. I have spent a good part of 8 months trying to figure out why I couldn't let go.
So the other day when I pulled out the pictures of my pregnancy belly with the other kids I started thinking about their births and both of those days were so amazing. I am not a person who only remembers the pain that came with labor. I can remember how the room was set up. The feeling of the contractions. The shakes I get when I am transitioning. I remember my mom and sister who would have taken the pain of the contractions away form me if they could have. Both of the older kids births were everything I could have imagined and this is where I think the guilt with the quads birth lies. Everything I had imagined for their birth did not happen. I had planned on spending weeks in the hospital on bed rest. Getting to know the nurses and the staff well in the weeks that I would spend there. I had imagined we would know the date of delivery and Paul & I would spend the last night together before welcoming our little ones with a great dinner for two in my hospital room. I wanted to write to my unborn children one last letter before I got to meet them. Family would come up to the hospital in anticipation of the moment they would learn how many girls and boys we had. The "plan" that I had didn't play out as I thought it would and this is were I have felt let down. Because my other two pregnancies were inductions I have never had the moment were the "water breaks" and one is in labor. Mine were always planned. My "water" broke quickly the night the quads needed to come when Rylan's heart rate was down. Everything ended up working out perfectly; it just wasn't planned like my other births were.
I have kept a journal of all of my pregnancies and the following are the letters I wrote the night before the "planned" induction of the girls and Drew:
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Oh my gosh. Tomorrow is the day and I am just giddy. I can not believe it has been over nine months since we found out we were expecting you. I can not wait to find out who you are and give you names. Today I have had mixed emotions. I am so happy that you will be here but I am sad at the same time because I will no longer be pregnant. I will no longer feel you inside of me. I have found such comfort and joy always feeling you two move around inside of me. It is such a neat feeling and if one or both of you are girls, I can't wait for you to expereince that joy some day. Daddy spent the day working outside and I went for one last pedicure and then went and stocked up on groceries. We are just going to sit down and have dinner for the last time with just daddy and I. We have to call the hospital at 5:30 tomorrow morning to make sure it isn't too busy and then we will head there around six. I don't think either of us will sleep well tonight because we are so excited. Grandma Pat and Nicole are also thrilled and are coming to the hospital bright and early to spend the day waiting for your big arrival. We then will have lots of calls to make because everyone is so excited to hear who you are. We have lots of prayers being said for your safe delivery. Mom is going to try and rest tonight but I am so excited. I am going to enjoy feeling you move around for the last time. I love you my sweet children.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Tonight is the last night that you and I get to spend together just you and I because we are getting induced tomorrow morning! We finally get to meet you!! Today was Father's Day and we had a wonderful day as a family of four. It was the weirdest feeling to know that tomorrow I will be a mother of three beautiful children and that Natalie & Aubrey will be big sisters. We have told them over and over that grandma will be here when they wake up and then Katelynn, our babysitter, will come over and play with them and then after nap daddy will come and get them so they can come and see mommy and Bop-Bop at the hospital. They always say "and hold her" when they go over the day. I can't wait for you to meet your sisters. I have been having frequent contractions today more than any other day so if you want to come sometime tonight that would be just fine. This evening I took a bath and realized I only have a couple of hours left of feeling you inside me. This is something I know I will miss after you are born. I want you to know how much I already love you and I can't wait to meet you in a couple of hours. You and your sisters mean everything to me and you all are my greatest joys. I pray that your delivery goes smoothly and that you are healthy. I love you my sweet child.
I didn't have a chance to write an entry the night the quads were coming but I know if I would have the entry would have been full of joy and anticipation as we would soon be meeting our little ones for the first time but it is also would have included worries for the health of our preterm babies.
I will move on and be grateful that I got to spend my entire pregnancy at home. That all of our family was able to make the birth. And that I delivered 4 healthy babies between 10:24 & 10:28 on the night of August 9. The sadness I feel when I think about the quads delivery needs to be replaced with joy and I am working on it. It just has taken longer than I thought it would.
Recently on my twins group we shared pictures of our last days pregnant with our twins. I thought it would be fun to pull pictures of the last day of all three of my pregnancies. And then I started really thinking about each one of my experiences of having a baby bump. I am not by any means a cute pregnant person. I don't carry small but that is hard when I had a twin pregnancy, a 9lb6oz pregnancy and a quadruplet pregnancy but I loved being pregnant. I love feeling life growing inside me. I love day dreaming about whether I am carrying a boy or girl. I love preparing to add another one (or 4) to our family.
I do feel I got jaded with my pregnancies though. I never had a pregnancy that wasn't full of worry. There was always something that was more than the average pregnancy worries. With the twins I never felt that I would carry both to term. We had already suffered two miscarriages and every single appointment I went to I was worried that I would not see two heart beats. Then with Drew the pregnancy started out well. We had not planned on becoming pregnant so soon after the twins and never thought we would get pregnant on our own so once the shock wore off we were good until his 20 week ultrasound where it was discovered he had a cleft lip. We declined further testing to see if there were any chromosomal issues and we would not be 100% sure if his palate was involved until the day he was born. The rest of his pregnancy was spent looking at pictures of baby's with clefts and it was hard and very discouraging because of course we only found the bad ones on google. Then we got pregnant with the quads and that was by far no where near a normal pregnancy. Some days I long for a pregnancy where I would take a hpt and see a + and nine months later deliver a beautiful baby without the worries of a multiple pregnancy or anomalies but even with the worries of all 3 pregnancies I was given 7 perfect in every way children.
Since the quads have been born I have dealt with a lot of guilt with how their pregnancy ended. The delivery was awesome and everything worked out great. Family got to come into the post op area which we had been told would not happen. All the babies got wonderful care. I got 1 of the 2 doctors that I really wanted to deliver me. But I still felt let down every. single. time. I thought about their birth. I have spent a good part of 8 months trying to figure out why I couldn't let go.
So the other day when I pulled out the pictures of my pregnancy belly with the other kids I started thinking about their births and both of those days were so amazing. I am not a person who only remembers the pain that came with labor. I can remember how the room was set up. The feeling of the contractions. The shakes I get when I am transitioning. I remember my mom and sister who would have taken the pain of the contractions away form me if they could have. Both of the older kids births were everything I could have imagined and this is where I think the guilt with the quads birth lies. Everything I had imagined for their birth did not happen. I had planned on spending weeks in the hospital on bed rest. Getting to know the nurses and the staff well in the weeks that I would spend there. I had imagined we would know the date of delivery and Paul & I would spend the last night together before welcoming our little ones with a great dinner for two in my hospital room. I wanted to write to my unborn children one last letter before I got to meet them. Family would come up to the hospital in anticipation of the moment they would learn how many girls and boys we had. The "plan" that I had didn't play out as I thought it would and this is were I have felt let down. Because my other two pregnancies were inductions I have never had the moment were the "water breaks" and one is in labor. Mine were always planned. My "water" broke quickly the night the quads needed to come when Rylan's heart rate was down. Everything ended up working out perfectly; it just wasn't planned like my other births were.
I have kept a journal of all of my pregnancies and the following are the letters I wrote the night before the "planned" induction of the girls and Drew:
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Oh my gosh. Tomorrow is the day and I am just giddy. I can not believe it has been over nine months since we found out we were expecting you. I can not wait to find out who you are and give you names. Today I have had mixed emotions. I am so happy that you will be here but I am sad at the same time because I will no longer be pregnant. I will no longer feel you inside of me. I have found such comfort and joy always feeling you two move around inside of me. It is such a neat feeling and if one or both of you are girls, I can't wait for you to expereince that joy some day. Daddy spent the day working outside and I went for one last pedicure and then went and stocked up on groceries. We are just going to sit down and have dinner for the last time with just daddy and I. We have to call the hospital at 5:30 tomorrow morning to make sure it isn't too busy and then we will head there around six. I don't think either of us will sleep well tonight because we are so excited. Grandma Pat and Nicole are also thrilled and are coming to the hospital bright and early to spend the day waiting for your big arrival. We then will have lots of calls to make because everyone is so excited to hear who you are. We have lots of prayers being said for your safe delivery. Mom is going to try and rest tonight but I am so excited. I am going to enjoy feeling you move around for the last time. I love you my sweet children.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Tonight is the last night that you and I get to spend together just you and I because we are getting induced tomorrow morning! We finally get to meet you!! Today was Father's Day and we had a wonderful day as a family of four. It was the weirdest feeling to know that tomorrow I will be a mother of three beautiful children and that Natalie & Aubrey will be big sisters. We have told them over and over that grandma will be here when they wake up and then Katelynn, our babysitter, will come over and play with them and then after nap daddy will come and get them so they can come and see mommy and Bop-Bop at the hospital. They always say "and hold her" when they go over the day. I can't wait for you to meet your sisters. I have been having frequent contractions today more than any other day so if you want to come sometime tonight that would be just fine. This evening I took a bath and realized I only have a couple of hours left of feeling you inside me. This is something I know I will miss after you are born. I want you to know how much I already love you and I can't wait to meet you in a couple of hours. You and your sisters mean everything to me and you all are my greatest joys. I pray that your delivery goes smoothly and that you are healthy. I love you my sweet child.
I didn't have a chance to write an entry the night the quads were coming but I know if I would have the entry would have been full of joy and anticipation as we would soon be meeting our little ones for the first time but it is also would have included worries for the health of our preterm babies.
I will move on and be grateful that I got to spend my entire pregnancy at home. That all of our family was able to make the birth. And that I delivered 4 healthy babies between 10:24 & 10:28 on the night of August 9. The sadness I feel when I think about the quads delivery needs to be replaced with joy and I am working on it. It just has taken longer than I thought it would.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)